Business of 'Is-ness'

Have you ever had the chance to speak to someone who is the type of person that REALLY pays attention to what you are saying? You could be talking to them about the most obscure and boring topic (i.e. Britney Spears ability to look like a ‘crack whore’ even though she has millions of dollars and a whole team of people who can make her look good). Their eyes don’t wander around the room or glass over. I have heard of these people, but in my experience, they are rare because I have only encountered one such creature in the wild.


…and, of course, I fell in love with him in an instant. He was the flute player and I was the snake in the basket (or was it the other way around?). He was irresistible.

Now, fast forward 20 something years later as I sit on my new throne (a.k.a new toilette) and I am reading ‘How to make every man want you’ by Marie Forleo. I know what you are thinking (Loser!!!), but let me explain. This book talks about the qualities that make you ‘irresistible’ to anyone (No, I am not gay mom!). One of the qualities is ‘being in the moment’, listening and being aware of your surroundings. Who doesn’t want to be ‘irresistible’? I am thinkin’ I will not only get a man, but as a bonus - make my project team members follow me like the proverbial ‘Pipe Piper’. (Ah..me so smart…me Wiley Coyote!). (Shout out to Janice for the use of the 'Wiley Coyote' line).

In this book the author talks about being in the NOW. Being present and in the moment in order to channel your energy and be ‘irresistible’. “You become one with the cosmic intelligence and timeless magnificence of all that is.” ‘The Business of being Is-ness’. (Are you still with me?...try to pay attention!).

I (as you may have already guessed) am the total opposite of this type of person. Most people usually bore me and I try not to make eye contact because that just encourages more words out of their mouths. SHUT UP! If I am on the phone, I usually tell the caller I must go because I need to use the restroom (actually I do this in person too..hmm).

However, this past week I tried being in the moment. Here is my my first foray into ‘Is-ness’ .

As I walked back to my car from the grocery store, instead of thinking what I had to do when I got home, I made a conscience effort to look around my environment. I took in the view, noises and smells, to see if I could ‘connect’ with my fellow human being and say ‘hello’.

Result – The ‘cosmic intelligence’ only sent me a really smelly old man who stank of unwashed parts and armpit sweat. I would have given my first born not to be in the ‘NOW’ at that particular moment. WTF!!

But then things got interesting. I didn’t realize how much I live ‘outside the moment’. I am HARDLY ever IN ‘the moment’. I always seem to be in the past (re-thinking what I should have done) or in the future (thinking of ways I can screw things up if I am not careful).

This past week I had to keep bringing myself back to the moment and when I did I was able to see some beautiful cloud formations, a bunny rabbit scurrying into the bushes, see a handsome man’s smile, sense a self awareness (without self deprecation). Wow! This really works! Don’t get me wrong, I am not about to burn incense or tattoo the ‘ohm’ symbol on my ass, but I think I will continue my journey into my ‘business of is-ness’ and see what else I have missed. As far as being ‘irresistible’….well, I’ll let that take care of itself.

My Dad's White Brief Underwear

I come from a family of alcoholics (by both blood and marriage), drug smugglers, and diabetics…and that’s just my father's side.

My healthy farm stock genes are both my blessing and my curse. I am tall and large boned (yes…you can call it ‘fat’ if you must) for a woman. I owe it all to my father. Thanks Dad!

Here are some of my favorite Dad stories:

Story #1
Coming home from a weekend trip to Tijuana my dad turned on the Radio:
(Conversation originally in Spanish)

Dad: ‘I like this song.’ (as he is dancing and driving) ‘Mija, I like this song…what is it saying?’

Me: ‘Papi (What I call my dad in Spanish), I am not going to translate what it says.”

Dad: ‘Why not? I like it’

Me: ‘Because once I tell you what it says, you are not going to like it.’

Song in question: ‘Me So Horney’ by Two Live Crew

Story #2
All my dad’s side of the family suffer from what they call ‘rheumatism’. It’s basically an aching of the bones/muscles when we are tired, cold or stressed. As an adult I have learned to control the pain, but as a kid it was torture.
I would go to bed fine and in the middle of the night the pain would start. I would call out for my dad to come and massage my arms and legs. Not once did he complain because I woke him up (and he had to get up at 4 am to go to work the next morning). He would come in half asleep and start massaging my legs and then my arms. He wouldn’t stop massaging until I told him I was fine again. Sometimes he would fall asleep sitting next to my bed, at which time I had to shake him awake for him to continue because I was still in pain. My poor sweet dad, he laughed when I told him (as an adult) that as soon as I saw his white brief underwear walk through my door…I knew everything was going to be okay.

Happy Father's Day!

p.s. - He still does not know the lyrics to 'Me So Horney' becasue I never translated it for him....AS IF!!

Restore to Factory Settings

Two weeks ago I installed a security program for my laptop which left it completly useless.  Did I do something wrong?  Did the application do something wrong?  Who knows....the bottom line was I had to fix my computer because it was broken.  I couldn't log in.  I was scared.  I cried out to God "Why me!.  What did I do wrong?" ('Drama Queen' you say?...I totally agree)

The Geek Squad wanted to charge me $300 (which is about half of the price of my computer 2 years ago)...I think not.  In my complete and utter ignorance I neglected to create a recovery disk when I first purchased my laptop.

After 2 weeks of feeling fearful and bad because my laptop did not work...I finally realized I was feeling 'fearful' over a stupid laptop!!  This is what lead me to the following contemplation (a.k.a...ramblings)

For the most part I consider myself a pretty BRAVE woman .....but when did I start being so freaking afraid of stupid stuff!!??

Sample of brave things I have done:

• When I was 18 years old I sold everything I had and moved to Guatemala! 
• I stopped being a practicing Catholic to become a Non-denominational Christian! (even though it took me 4 years to do it....)
• I dared to go into a profession that scares me spitless. 
• I say yes to work projects I have no idea how I am going to start or complete (and do a great job on them)
• I picked up an unruly teenager off the street and had the nerve to think I could raise her (and I did...she is soon off to college). 
• I cut my hair short when I have a very round face. (bravest move of them all!)

Things that scare me:

• Selecting the wrong cell phone over the internet...when it's time to update my phone.
• Switching to another internet provider.
• Telling Direct TV to shove it, when they want to charge me $107 for a dvr, when new users get it for free.
• Fixing my broken laptop.
• Buying a Kindle.
• Getting rid of my old plates (because they are all chipped - see teenager above)
• Unsubscribing to Netflix (I might want to see a Bollywood movie found nowhere else)
• Accidently putting in the wrong gas type in my car when I go pump gas (I fear this every single time I go and get gas...)
• Change of any type

Do you see what I mean?  WTF!!  Really!!  This has to stop!

So today, when I got home from work I took my stupid non-working laptop and finally decided to give up on getting my pictures and with the click of a few buttons restored it to it's factory settings.  IT WORKED!!  I am now able to use my laptop again!  Did I lose all those pictures...yes, but I can just  take more (and this time learn my lesson to back them up to cd)....Yes!  Lesson learned. 

Tomorrow, I think I am going to drop Direct TV and maybe even my internet provider for better options.....I am passing out 'lollypops' and 'whoopasses' and I am all out of lollypops!!  Where are my leather pants?

Bottome line:  Don't let life's stupid stuff get to you and make you fearful or doubtful.  A good lesson I learned from my BFF (not too long ago) was that life can change in a blink of an eye whether you want it to or not.  So take life as it comes and enjoy it, don't waste time being afraid.  So wear your best perfume to work instead of saving it for a special occasion.   Restore yourself back to your factory settings and be fearless with your everyday life...like you used to be when you were a kid .

Thank God for all the blessings he gives me....especially for my stupid non-working laptop.