This Saturday I had to drag my ‘GRANDE’ ass out of bed at the ungodly hour of 4 am to drive to Cal State Northridge. My niece had to go take a math assessment test to be able to skip over the normal ‘freshman’ class and into more advanced mathematics (It’s great that she wants to be an Engineer because she is only 1 class above an English ESL (English as a Second Language) class…poor thing, she really sucks at English). Since I had to drop her off at 8 am…I had no other choice but to go find a place to wait for 2 hours until her math test was over…..and this is where my story begins.
I have always wondered why students insist on dragging their ‘study’ paraphernalia (which sometimes consist of stupid hats, blankies, cell phones, laptops, notebooks and iPods’) to their nearest Starbucks to study….REALLY? I’ve had to step over book bags, purses, wires, and shimmy through the unwashed masses just to get my Venti drip. How the heck do they get any studying done in such a busy, noisy place? And NO, I don’t appreciate the ‘looks’ I get when I walk in and I am talking on my cell phone….if you want quiet…GO TO THE LIBRARY YOU STUPID PRETENTIOUS AND POMPOUS ARSES (notice how I used the British version of ASSES…I am quite sophisticated) Everyone knows that to get any real studying done…you need peace and quiet….YES..YOU..DO!!
Anyway, back to my story…guess where I ended up at 8 am on Saturday morning? YEP…Starbucks - where I sat and had my cup of coffee and studied my ‘Project Management for Dummies’ book…. (And it hurts to admit this, but it is actually a very great place to study….damn it!!). I did feel a little pompous and rightly so because I had just spent almost $10 for a cup of coffee, bran muffin and a side of ‘pretention’.
However, besides all the great studying I did…I had a great time ‘people watching’. There was the ‘teacher who REALLY likes to be a teacher and grades papers at Starbucks on a Saturday morning’ (you know she has to be single) lady who besides using her notebook, yellow highlighter, red pen, green pen and blue pen , also advices customers on their menu choices.
Then there was the couple who showed up in a car, which I am sure was in the movie ‘Fast & Furious Tokyo Drift’ (Yes, I’ve seen the movie..It’s actually very good). The car seems to have been a HONDA at some point, but it was so pimped out that it resembled a cartoon jet mobile in lime green…no joke. The Asian princess that emerged from said carriage had on tight (and I mean tight) jeans, white (almost see through) slinky t-shirt with her hair in a pony-messy-tail, with large black diamond cut hoop earrings and ‘too high’ heeled sandals. She oozed ‘I am better than you-ness’ all over that Starbucks. On her way back out to her flying carpet she tripped and almost fell. Am I a bad person for kind-a wanting to see that happen?
However, the best one was the chunky Neil Diamond (and not in a good way) look alike who walked in with a metal briefcase….WTF! Who carries around a metal briefcase (who does not want to explode innocent bystanders?) It could have been the fact that I got up at 4 am or that I was having my 4th cup of coffee and it wasn’t even 10 am, but I got paranoid. I knew that I was going to be REALLY pissed off if this guy exploded me. There are things I still want to do with my life before I leave this world (having sex with 1 or more members of the Mexican Rock group MANA is just one of them). I kept my eyes on this man while he was in line, through his java choice and then to his seat…where he sat and enjoyed his coffee as he opened up his briefcase and began working…..I guess exploding a little Starbucks in Northridge at 9 am with few people in it does not make a big enough statement. Is it weird for being disappointed that I am not important enough to explode?
1 comment:
You mean you were W R O N G! and bitchy to those poor struggling college students just trying to make the grade ??
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