Operation: Empty Nest....Commencing!

Six years ago I picked up a kid from the streets that had no social skills, no hygiene skills, no ‘legal’ skills what-so-ever! She was good at begging money off strangers, stealing car radios, bikes, smoking marijuana and drinking. When I first picked her up I seriously considered putting her in foster care....... or in a kennel.

Fast forward six years and what immersed was a girl who’s funny, smart and kind. She was an honor student, won a Scholar Letter and several Athletic Letters in high school and now she is off to college. For a little ‘heathen teenager’, she is responsible (to some degree – let’s not get crazy here!). I changed my ‘single woman’ status to ‘single aunt’ status and in return she transformed my heart and now I have to let her go.......WTH!!

She has been accepted at Cal State Northridge as a Mechanical Engineer Major (some co-worker’s children have been accepted into better learning institutions, but if you’ve read the first paragraph of this story- then you know that CSUN is our ‘Harvard, Yale and MIT’ all rolled into one). This coming week I am supposed to move her into her dorm, make the sign of the cross over her head and leave her there...........I DON’T THINK I CAN DO IT!!

Here are some of my strategies to keep her with me:

1. I have offered to teach her how to drive (She still does not know how because she has no job and no money for gas or insurance....who do you think I am Donald Trump?)

She said No

2. I told her that she can go to City College and live at home while she goes to school, then she can transfer to a 4 year college. Meanwhile she gets home cooked meals and I can kiss and hug her anytime I want.

She said No

3. I’ve threatened to write her out of my will. (At this point I can only leave her 2 Pomeranians and my Netflix account)

She said No

4. I have listed out my ailments and tried to make her feel guilty that I am going to be all alone. (Neither my periodic rheumatism nor my Iron deficiency seemed to convince her).

She said No

5. I threatened to move to Northridge with her if she went to CSUN.

She said No!

Darn it...I can’t break her! It’s like she’s been trained by the British SAS, the CIA and MI-5. She finally told me to stop making her feel guilty for getting into college. (Ah! So she is feeling guilty huh?...my plan seems to be working).

I have tried all my ‘Mexican Mother’ moves on her and she is determined to go to college.....I obviously went wrong somewhere in raising her, if all she wants to do is go to college instead of living with me until she’s 30 - like ‘good’ Mexican daughters do.

So I guess the only thing left for me to do is drive her to college, set her up in her dorm room, and pray that my lectures haunt her when someone is handing her a beer at a keg party.

...maybe I should add 'tracking' to her cell phone.