Valentine's Day - A Saint or Pagan Goat Guts?

Since we are in the month of February, one of my friends wanted me to write a blog entry about Valentine’s Day and my thoughts about it. Well, what do you think a single woman who is not currently dating and who has never really been in love thinks about Valentine’s Day? (Do machine guns, hostages and high towers come to mind?)


The history of Valentine’s Day is a murky one (big surprise!). One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. (I am going with this story because the other one involves dead goats, and women being hit by the guts of said dead goats…..romantic much?)

Anyway, as I was thinking back to ‘all the boys I’ve loved before’ (some people quote Shakespeare…I like Willie Nelson) I can truly say none of them were really meant for me. My friends accuse me of being too picky and they could be right (FINE! They are right).

Even though I didn’t get a very good example of what a truly healthy married relationship looks like from my parents, I have been fortunate enough to have seen it in many of my friends.  Here are only a couple of examples.

My co-worker and commuting buddy (He’s like the smart brother I never got….and I have 2 brothers). His wife is battling breast cancer and she will be going through some treatments that will make her lose her hair. He has decided to shave his head along with hers. (Since he’s totally ‘Caucasian’ and sports a goatee, he is going to look less like a supportive husband and more like a ‘Skin Head’ white supremacist. When he picks me up to drive to work, I am going to look like the ‘Mexican’ he captured and is taking back to the ‘Brotherhood’). I asked him once if after so many years of marriage he still got butterflies when he saw his wife and if he still thought she was beautiful. (This was early in the morning so he just grumbled at me.) He waited until our drive home in the afternoon (and I didn’t even have to ask him again) to answer me with “She is like my right arm. I couldn’t picture my life without her.’ (I’d like to think that he still gets butterflies when he sees her…..although he might think it’s just stomach cramps from the Mexican food he ate).

Another great example is my best friend and her husband. They have been married 6 or 7 years (…they were married on March 15th – on The Ides of March when Julius Caesar was assassinated…how romantic!). They have been through some trials and tribulations’, but they both have become better people for it. I have seen the transformation in both of them. They have improved each other and not by trying to change who they are, but by living and fighting for their marriage. He has become such a great father and provider and she has become a great mother and wife. They are honest with each other, they are a team and they are not only parents or partners but very much still ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’. How can you not love that!

Well, bottom line, I no longer believe in love stories such as Bella and Edward (from ‘Twilight’ for those of you living under a rock), Romeo and Juliette or that couple from Titanic, but I still very much believe in the magic of love. The magic that makes a husband shave his head for his wife, volunteer to serve as a leader on his sons Boy Scout troupe, take on weekend side jobs to make ends meet or defend his family from anyone that might harm them.

So, what do I think about Valentine’s Day? I think it’s a great day to honor LOVE in all its forms.  Even though I may end up buying my own flowers and chocolates this year, that’s okay because I know that the magic is real, I’ve seen it, and I will not settle for anything less.