Yeah...I wouldn't know anything about that, because I spend most of my holiday's with my parents in a city I call the 'Armpit of Hell' in the summer, and the 'Frozen toes of Satan' in the winter.
Yesterday, my mom and I went to the biggest mall in town (at which 99% of the cities population was also at). I love spending time with my mom, but I really, REALLY dislike going shopping with her....and here's why. She had me looking through racks and racks of sweaters to find the all elusive 'holy grail' of perfect sweaters that she needed for a chrismtas gift. When we finally found it (25 minutes later), she realized that she already had a present for that person and she didn't need it after all. UGH!!
All this while calling me (and by 'calling' - I mean yelling at me across the store in front of many, many people) 'TESORO'! Which means 'treasure' in English (her nickname for me). You might think this is sweet (and it IS sweet...darn it!), but not when strangers turn around and look at me like I am her 'Special Needs' child and she is burdened to care for me even though I am an adult woman. UGH!
Today, she asked me to take her to the most Mexican supermarket this side of the Colorado river. My niece had asked her to please make her Menudo for Christmas and that's why we were there. Before we were even in the door, we were met by a chola wearing black eyeshadow and white lipstick (I am truely not making this up!). I wanted to stare but everyone knows you never look a 'chola' in the eye....unless you are ready to throw down!
So, we walked in the door and this is what went down:
Mom: "Go get me some chives, garlic, and some cilantro while I go stand in line for the tripe."
Me: "Si Mami" (I have to call her 'Mami'...otherwise Mami gets mad)
Mom walks back to the butcher area .....
My niece and I grab all the stuff and walk back to find her. As we approach the butcher counter we hear..."Client Zero! Client Zero...you are next!' (No one claims to be 'zero'). 'One'...calling number 'One'. What we don't see is my mom. Where can she be?
Then we see her coming back from the pre-packaged meat counter with a number in her hand and fire in her eyes. It turns out she is the elusive client 'Zero' that didn't respond.
Me: 'Mom if you're 'zero' they just called your number and you didn't respond."
Mom: " That's because that idiot told me the Menudo was over there...and it isn't."
She proceeds to the butcher counter (with ticket in hand) and tells them she is client 'zero' and that some idiot told her the menudo was over in the pre-packaged meat counter. She then schooled them on customer service and then asked for 7 pounds of tripe. The little Mexican guy behind the butcher counter just looked at her with blinking eyes (like a thing just born) and did as she asked.
Moral of the story: I may not be able to spend my Holiday's in New York shopping on 5th avenue, but at least I get to spend it with my sweet Mexican 'Mami' learning how to stand up for my rights (while imparting customer service lessons) to unsuspecting butcher boys.
Life cannot be sweeter.
Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad!
2 comments:
This is what you get for A L W A Y S teasing me that i'm SOOOOOO MEXICAN!!!!
It is a sign to be a little more humble my dear friend!
Having you go to a mexican mart in Bakersfield be intimidated by a chola, grab cilantro and misc stuff for the Menudo not bad but having YOU STAND THERE while your mom goes off on the Carnicero about Customer Service. P R I C E L E S S !!!!!
I don't personally like to tease people but my person of choice to tease is you!! -- Stay Thirsty my friend!!!!
You are soooo right!!! You NEVER look a Chola in the eye! You also don't stand up to them when they want to steal stuff at your place of work (Clothestime). You politely remove security tags for them and bring the items to them in the dressing rooms while they proceed to stuff said items in their over-sized bags then you whistle to yourself while they walk out the front door. Then...you get fired a week later for helping the scary Cholas steal!!!
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