I think I may need some Happy Pills

I have a friend (No, really…. this is about my friend), who keeps getting really worried about the end of the world (BTW – Thank you Mayans. First you gave us the ‘zero’ and then for predicting we are going to be ‘zero’ in 2012!!). As soon as she calms down and stops worrying…one of her (Oh so nice) co-workers brings up the subject again….and the worrying begins anew.

I have figuratively ‘talked her down from the ledge’ (as she has done many times for me), by telling her she’s stupid. (This is also her method with me…we are obviously not the ‘hug and kissy’ type). This method of the Cher ‘slap’ with a ‘Snap Out of It!’ chaser….works well for us. Extra points for those who know what movie I am referring to….

Now, I just told you all of that to tell you this…..

For the past couple of months I have been grinding my teeth, not sleeping through the night, feeling scared and over all anxious about everything!!. I don’t feel depressed, but I can’t seem to shake the anxiety. It started when I was told my baby (Mia, my Pomeranian) is dying. I keep thinking something bad is going to happen all the time. WTF!

If I had an opponent in front of me I would take the best martial arts stand I could remember from the many Kung Fu Theater movies I watched as a kid and shout ‘You want to fight? Well, fight me damn you!!’ However, there is no real opponent in front of me, unless I took in the mirror.

Here are some examples of some of the thoughts that go through my brain:

1. Whenever I hear a noise outside – someone is stealing something or trying to get in.
2. During these rains – I am just waiting for my roof to leak
3. While visiting my mom for Christmas – I worry that my house is going to be invested by mice when I get back home.
4. At work – I feel like I am not doing enough and I am not smart enough
5. In public – exposed
6. In my house – Like I am missing life
7. My niece - Everytime she goes to the bathroom I wonder if she's doing drugs

You see what I mean….Coo Koo!

I guess I can sit here and whine to you a little more, but what I have decided to do is ‘Snap Out of It!!’ Here is how:

For every negative thought I have, I come up with 2 or 3 positive ones.

1. Noises outside – If someone wants something I have…go ahead and take it, I have insurance. You want to break in to my house? You have a Mexican/American woman who may or may not know Kung Fu and 2 Pomeranians to deal with…so there!!
2. Leaky Roof: Bring it on…like I said, I have insurance!
3. Mice (non-existent as they may be) – If you are going to live in my house, you are going to pay rent..you little bastards!
4. Work: I am smart enough…I have figured stuff out that I didn’t know I COULD figure out.
5. In Public: I just make sure I look good while feeling exposed. Hold my head up high and think of Chaka Khans ‘Ain’t Nobody’ as my theme song.
6. In my house: Learn to relax and enjoy my time at home with my babies, as well as make an effort to go out and enjoy my time outside my home. As well as watch some PORN….(just kidding, just making sure you are paying attention!!)
7. My niece:  I know she's not on drugs (because everytime I sneak in on her she is only on the toilette listening to her ipod. (I know, I know...I've only done it a couple of times))

Has this worked? Yes, it has. I guess when people say it takes work to be happy, they are not wrong (darn hippies!). The blessings God gives me are my happy pills. I just have to wake up and realize they are there for me to use.

So, bring it on you stupid Mayan’s (If you are SO smart how come your civilization was lost? HA!). You too LIFE….I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU!

…….I wonder where I can find some ninja stars and some nun chucks??