Raised by a Mexican Mother

A few weeks ago a co-worker and I got onto the subject of mothers. She shared a little of her story with hers and even though my story was not the same, I could see threads of what it’s like to be raised by a Mexican mother.

My mother was a great mother. She had me when she was 21 years old (When I was 21 I barely took care of myself and was living with 3 room mates who had a basket of condoms by the door for when ‘friends’ came by). Needless to say…I quickly moved out.

My Mexican Mom’s Parenting Skills:

Saturday mornings: We would watch cartoons for a little while and then we had to do our house cleaning chores. Nothing was allowed under the bed. We were responsible dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms and our rooms. I believe this is now called ‘Child Labor’ and I am pretty sure they have laws against it …

Outcome: I have a clean house and nothing stored under my bed.

Laundry: My mom ALWAYS yelled at us when it came time to do laundry because she had to sort it and do it all herself. Of course, when we tried to do it we would get yelled at for not doing it ‘like her’ and thus not doing it right!! Either way…there was yelling involved.

Outcome: I replace my white socks twice a year to make sure they are white (I am still not as good as my mom when it comes to laundry)

School Clothes Shopping: With my brother this was easy; he was extra slim, with me… not so much. Plus size clothes for little girls were not available in the 70’s. Thus my shopping trip would end up with my mom yelling at me for being so fat and me crying. Making my brother shake his ‘extra slim’ head and say ‘Too Chubby’. This would eventually end up with me wearing ‘old lady’ looking polyester wear to elementary school. (This is another reason why the 70’s sucked!!).

Outcome: I have been complimented for my great fashion sense. A childhood with horrible clothes makes you want to dress nicer as an adult.

McDonald’s: Only on birthdays!

Outcome: I still don’t like going to McDonald’s all that much….

School Lunches: Bean burritos. No ‘Wonder’ bread bologna sandwiches with Oreo cookies for us…Thanks mom!

Outcome: Lean Cuisines

Punishments: My dad only physically punished us when my mom told him he had to. Otherwise she would doll out the punishment by making us sit kneeling next to the wall with our hands up. She admitted to us later that she would sometimes forget about us and find us asleep hugging the wall. This is now called ‘child abuse & neglect’….just in case you are wondering.

Outcome: I had the skills to raise my niece when the time came….and I too was creative with my ‘punishments’…nuff said.

As an adult, I admire my mom very much. I have never seen her start something without finishing it and doing it to the best of her abilities. She can start sweeping a spotless floor and somehow make it look cleaner than when she started. She was a brave woman who came to a country without knowing the language and worked had to give us a better life. She hid the fact that we were really poor from us by providing for all our needs the best she could. Even though our clothes were from the second hand store, they were clean and well taken care of (see Laundry above). For Christmas, my parents barely had enough money for presents, let alone for a Christmas tree…so she started the tradition of the ‘Christmas lamp’. We would decorate our floor lamp and place our presents under it.

Even though I am not an ‘official’ parent, I can see now that parents aren’t perfect, they just do the best they can. My mom did her best with the circumstances life handed her. (Did some of her ‘parenting’ lead me to seek counseling later in life…Yes, but that is another story).

Bottom line: I had the best mom (Not Mrs. Cleaver…better!) and as it turns out (after speaking to one of my friends) Korean moms aren’t that much different. Who knew!